On November 13, 2010 I gladly became the primary caregiver of my mother. She has Lewy Body Dementia, the second most common memory loss condition after Alzhiemers. I knew nothing about Lewy Body Dementia until I brought Mom to Indiana to live with me. My mother is a resident at the Waters of Covington, a rehabilitation center near our home. I would like to have her live with us but her care is more then one person can provide. The staff at the Waters fell in love with Mom immediately. She may be losing her memory and her ability to care for herself but she hasn't lost her sense of humor or her gentle grace. This blog is meant to be a journal of our days together.



On May 15, 2011 My Mother peacefully and fearlessly passed into the here after. Now I journey alone, yet not alone. I have a lifetime of memories.




Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentines Day

Went to see Mom tonight after work. I took her some chocolates. I can always count on her liking chocolates. Each time I see her, I see how the disease is advancing. She prefers to be in bed asleep. I don't want her to be in bed all the time because I know there will be a time when that will happen. We don't talk. I just sit with her. Tonight she got into her bed and went to sleep. I just sat there with her. I think she knows I'm there. She seems to take comfort in my being there. I stayed until the aid came in to get her ready for bed. Mom asked if I was coming back. I said yes. That was all she wanted.

Becca is on tonight. Becca is our daughter-in-law. She is especially patient with Mom. The nurses let her give Mom her evening meds when she is on. Mom likes her. It's funny they have their connection. They did not meet until Mom was admitted to the Waters. But Mom senses that Becca is special and responds to to her. Becca would have loved Mom before she got dementia. It's a pleasant relief that she loves her now.

As far as I know, Mom's bills are still not being paid. I am so grateful that the NH has assured me they will not put Mom out for nonpayment and that it will not affect her care. But it does. She needs some extras, a haircut, perm, clothes, a rocker. She gets none of these because she has not money of her own. BUT, I am going to get her hair cut and I am going to ask Kathy (my daughter) to perm her hair.

I also need to find out if Mom still owns her burrial plot. If she does, then I need to find out the easiest and cost effective way to get her back to Minnesota when the time comes. I hate having to think about these things but I know better then to leave them till later. I doubt if my sister knows and I bet if my brother could he has sold the plot. If that is the case, do I bury her here (not what she would want) or how do I take her back and where do I bury her and the most aweful question of all how much will it cost? That and I WANT her pictures (my brother has them buried in a storage shed somewhere).

I use my old defense mechanism of compartmentizing to handle these thoughts. I am SO glad I have learned to lock them away because I would be a real basket case if I couldn't. I have to admit though that I am sad, beyond MAD, worried, confused. Sometimes I want to KILL-not shoot but bare handed beat to a pulp KILL. All these emotions from a good christian woman. I can't describe the conflict that lies just under the surface. When it really gets supper overwelming, I go sit with Mom. Just watching her calms me. I let my love for her wash over her and back to me. It makes me thank God for every lucid moment we have together. I am so thankful that she is here with me. All the other crap is worth whatever time she and I have.


- Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone
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