On November 13, 2010 I gladly became the primary caregiver of my mother. She has Lewy Body Dementia, the second most common memory loss condition after Alzhiemers. I knew nothing about Lewy Body Dementia until I brought Mom to Indiana to live with me. My mother is a resident at the Waters of Covington, a rehabilitation center near our home. I would like to have her live with us but her care is more then one person can provide. The staff at the Waters fell in love with Mom immediately. She may be losing her memory and her ability to care for herself but she hasn't lost her sense of humor or her gentle grace. This blog is meant to be a journal of our days together.



On May 15, 2011 My Mother peacefully and fearlessly passed into the here after. Now I journey alone, yet not alone. I have a lifetime of memories.




Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Sad Visit

I went to see Mom on Sunday as I have been doing since the weather has been too cold to take her out. She was asleep again. I could not wake her. So I sat with her while she slept. She didn't move a muscle. I played a game on my iPhone and dozed a little myself. Then when it was time for her to go to supper I helped the aid get her out of bed and into her chair, which was not an easy job. She perked up when she saw a little child in the hallway. For the most part though she was pretty non-responsive. I went away very sad.

Today, I popped in the NH to talk to the Financial Officer about payment for Mom's bill. My brother has not been paying her bills and they were trying to get her SS check sent directly to them. They have made progress with that. Mom's check is no longer going to my brother (I bet he's really surpriced about that) but the NH is not getting it yet. They have filed for it however. In the meantime I have the money I need to file for gaurdianship. That will be a big accomplishment. I have been told to make an appointment with the lawyer to discuss what I do next. I still want to get her personal property back especially her pictures.

But, Mom is not eating again. And she is sleeping more and more. She has lost all interest in everything. I go to see her because I miss her but I go away still missing her. I STILL do not want her to starve herself. The NH staff look at me like that is a wrong thing.

I am not sleeping. I wake up in the early morning and I think about Mom and what is happening. I try to plan what I will do when the time comes but I just can't wrap my mind around it. The Financial Officer said today that there will be people available to help me when the time comes. It helps but it makes me cry too. I don't want to plan a funeral or how to pay for one. I want to plan quiet afternoons sitting in the backyard watching the humming birds. Man I feel cheated.
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2 comments:

  1. Kathy LowreyFebruary 22, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    I understand those feelings :(

    Remember, you are doing the best your heart tells you in caring for your mother. And you're doing it quite well.

    All I can offer you is a cyber {{{hug}}} and reminder that you really are NOT alone. There are more out here than you think.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Linda ShumakerFebruary 24, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Thanks Kathy. I find some comfort writing my feelings here.

    ReplyDelete

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