The NH called today to say that Mom acted like she was having chest pain and would I want her to see a cardiologist? Duh-- Why do they ask such obvious questions? Don't they know how heart stopping a call from them is? I hope it's warm enough to bring her home for a few hours Friday.
- Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Awake Finally
The last two times I have visited, I came in the afternoon and she was in bed and WOULD not wake up. So today I came in the morning.
She is eating a chocolate chip cookie.
It's hard to get her to smile.
I'm teasing her. I love this picture.
Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone
She is eating a chocolate chip cookie.
It's hard to get her to smile.
I'm teasing her. I love this picture.
Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sad Visit
I went to see Mom on Sunday as I have been doing since the weather has been too cold to take her out. She was asleep again. I could not wake her. So I sat with her while she slept. She didn't move a muscle. I played a game on my iPhone and dozed a little myself. Then when it was time for her to go to supper I helped the aid get her out of bed and into her chair, which was not an easy job. She perked up when she saw a little child in the hallway. For the most part though she was pretty non-responsive. I went away very sad.
Today, I popped in the NH to talk to the Financial Officer about payment for Mom's bill. My brother has not been paying her bills and they were trying to get her SS check sent directly to them. They have made progress with that. Mom's check is no longer going to my brother (I bet he's really surpriced about that) but the NH is not getting it yet. They have filed for it however. In the meantime I have the money I need to file for gaurdianship. That will be a big accomplishment. I have been told to make an appointment with the lawyer to discuss what I do next. I still want to get her personal property back especially her pictures.
But, Mom is not eating again. And she is sleeping more and more. She has lost all interest in everything. I go to see her because I miss her but I go away still missing her. I STILL do not want her to starve herself. The NH staff look at me like that is a wrong thing.
I am not sleeping. I wake up in the early morning and I think about Mom and what is happening. I try to plan what I will do when the time comes but I just can't wrap my mind around it. The Financial Officer said today that there will be people available to help me when the time comes. It helps but it makes me cry too. I don't want to plan a funeral or how to pay for one. I want to plan quiet afternoons sitting in the backyard watching the humming birds. Man I feel cheated.
Today, I popped in the NH to talk to the Financial Officer about payment for Mom's bill. My brother has not been paying her bills and they were trying to get her SS check sent directly to them. They have made progress with that. Mom's check is no longer going to my brother (I bet he's really surpriced about that) but the NH is not getting it yet. They have filed for it however. In the meantime I have the money I need to file for gaurdianship. That will be a big accomplishment. I have been told to make an appointment with the lawyer to discuss what I do next. I still want to get her personal property back especially her pictures.
But, Mom is not eating again. And she is sleeping more and more. She has lost all interest in everything. I go to see her because I miss her but I go away still missing her. I STILL do not want her to starve herself. The NH staff look at me like that is a wrong thing.
I am not sleeping. I wake up in the early morning and I think about Mom and what is happening. I try to plan what I will do when the time comes but I just can't wrap my mind around it. The Financial Officer said today that there will be people available to help me when the time comes. It helps but it makes me cry too. I don't want to plan a funeral or how to pay for one. I want to plan quiet afternoons sitting in the backyard watching the humming birds. Man I feel cheated.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentines Day
Went to see Mom tonight after work. I took her some chocolates. I can always count on her liking chocolates. Each time I see her, I see how the disease is advancing. She prefers to be in bed asleep. I don't want her to be in bed all the time because I know there will be a time when that will happen. We don't talk. I just sit with her. Tonight she got into her bed and went to sleep. I just sat there with her. I think she knows I'm there. She seems to take comfort in my being there. I stayed until the aid came in to get her ready for bed. Mom asked if I was coming back. I said yes. That was all she wanted.
Becca is on tonight. Becca is our daughter-in-law. She is especially patient with Mom. The nurses let her give Mom her evening meds when she is on. Mom likes her. It's funny they have their connection. They did not meet until Mom was admitted to the Waters. But Mom senses that Becca is special and responds to to her. Becca would have loved Mom before she got dementia. It's a pleasant relief that she loves her now.
As far as I know, Mom's bills are still not being paid. I am so grateful that the NH has assured me they will not put Mom out for nonpayment and that it will not affect her care. But it does. She needs some extras, a haircut, perm, clothes, a rocker. She gets none of these because she has not money of her own. BUT, I am going to get her hair cut and I am going to ask Kathy (my daughter) to perm her hair.
I also need to find out if Mom still owns her burrial plot. If she does, then I need to find out the easiest and cost effective way to get her back to Minnesota when the time comes. I hate having to think about these things but I know better then to leave them till later. I doubt if my sister knows and I bet if my brother could he has sold the plot. If that is the case, do I bury her here (not what she would want) or how do I take her back and where do I bury her and the most aweful question of all how much will it cost? That and I WANT her pictures (my brother has them buried in a storage shed somewhere).
I use my old defense mechanism of compartmentizing to handle these thoughts. I am SO glad I have learned to lock them away because I would be a real basket case if I couldn't. I have to admit though that I am sad, beyond MAD, worried, confused. Sometimes I want to KILL-not shoot but bare handed beat to a pulp KILL. All these emotions from a good christian woman. I can't describe the conflict that lies just under the surface. When it really gets supper overwelming, I go sit with Mom. Just watching her calms me. I let my love for her wash over her and back to me. It makes me thank God for every lucid moment we have together. I am so thankful that she is here with me. All the other crap is worth whatever time she and I have.
- Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone
Becca is on tonight. Becca is our daughter-in-law. She is especially patient with Mom. The nurses let her give Mom her evening meds when she is on. Mom likes her. It's funny they have their connection. They did not meet until Mom was admitted to the Waters. But Mom senses that Becca is special and responds to to her. Becca would have loved Mom before she got dementia. It's a pleasant relief that she loves her now.
As far as I know, Mom's bills are still not being paid. I am so grateful that the NH has assured me they will not put Mom out for nonpayment and that it will not affect her care. But it does. She needs some extras, a haircut, perm, clothes, a rocker. She gets none of these because she has not money of her own. BUT, I am going to get her hair cut and I am going to ask Kathy (my daughter) to perm her hair.
I also need to find out if Mom still owns her burrial plot. If she does, then I need to find out the easiest and cost effective way to get her back to Minnesota when the time comes. I hate having to think about these things but I know better then to leave them till later. I doubt if my sister knows and I bet if my brother could he has sold the plot. If that is the case, do I bury her here (not what she would want) or how do I take her back and where do I bury her and the most aweful question of all how much will it cost? That and I WANT her pictures (my brother has them buried in a storage shed somewhere).
I use my old defense mechanism of compartmentizing to handle these thoughts. I am SO glad I have learned to lock them away because I would be a real basket case if I couldn't. I have to admit though that I am sad, beyond MAD, worried, confused. Sometimes I want to KILL-not shoot but bare handed beat to a pulp KILL. All these emotions from a good christian woman. I can't describe the conflict that lies just under the surface. When it really gets supper overwelming, I go sit with Mom. Just watching her calms me. I let my love for her wash over her and back to me. It makes me thank God for every lucid moment we have together. I am so thankful that she is here with me. All the other crap is worth whatever time she and I have.
- Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone
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