On November 13, 2010 I gladly became the primary caregiver of my mother. She has Lewy Body Dementia, the second most common memory loss condition after Alzhiemers. I knew nothing about Lewy Body Dementia until I brought Mom to Indiana to live with me. My mother is a resident at the Waters of Covington, a rehabilitation center near our home. I would like to have her live with us but her care is more then one person can provide. The staff at the Waters fell in love with Mom immediately. She may be losing her memory and her ability to care for herself but she hasn't lost her sense of humor or her gentle grace. This blog is meant to be a journal of our days together.



On May 15, 2011 My Mother peacefully and fearlessly passed into the here after. Now I journey alone, yet not alone. I have a lifetime of memories.




Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Missing Her

As much as I try to rationalize it is still hard at times knowing that my mother is gone. We are remodeling our livingroom. I moved the box that holds Mom's ashes and it just hit me like a run away train that she was gone. We talk about taking her home and it seems so unreal. I look at her picture and I think I need to call her. Then I am sad because I know I can't. My grief counselor says I need closure. I'm not convienced that taking her ashes back to Minnesota will really do that. I think the feeling that a piece is missing will always be there.

I am painting and learning to draw. My assignment for next week is to decide on a picture I want to draw. I think I will draw a picture of Mom happy and full of life. I think studying her face is what I want to do for awhile.
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1 comment:

  1. Kathy LowreyApril 11, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    Hi Linda :)

    I've been praying for you daily :)
    I know the first year of the passing of a loved one is so difficult. Eventually, through the days, the pain and sorrows subside if we allow them to. Our grief turns into precious memories. It doesn't happen over night though. Sometimes it takes a few years and if it does, that's ok as long as there is forward movement and no wallowing in the sadness. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time.

    My own mother has been gone for nearly 5 yrs, and although we didn't have the relationship you and your mother had, I still moiss her. I find myself hearing a song or seeing a hair color (red) sometimes a laugh that bring her back to the forefront of my mind. Sometimes it still stings, most of the time it makes me smile. I agree with you that a piece of her will always be missing from my life, but never from my heart.

    Her ashes are in a pretty box along with her bible and another precious book she loved. It sits on a shelf in my computer room surrounded by pics of her family. It's a lovely place for her to be. :)

    I'm happy you have taken up painting and drawing.
    I hope you would consider drawing/painting the photo of your mom holding the little bouquet of flowers her last few days.
    I love the small smile of peace and contentment and love in her face.
    You did an excellent job caring for and loving her, that shows in the photo you captured :)

    {{{hugs}} to you Linda :)
    You are thought of and prayed for daily.

    So happy you checked in :)

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