Mom Is In The Hospital

She has embolisms in both legs and both lungs. I REALLY thought she was dying Monday night. But, she is still with me. She also has a bed sore. Nurses where great Monday night. She is in a little hospital with only 11 beds. Lots of emotions. I'm not sure which ones are valid and which ones are just me over reacating. I'll write more when I can sort everything out.

Mom was a little improved

This post is out of place. I wrote this last week Monday or Tuesday.

Last evening. But, I think I have ticked off some of the staff. I really don't care. As long as Mom continues to improve, I will continue to tick them off.

But REALLY-- it doesn't take much effort to check that she has everything on her tray. Mom didn't have her healthshake. The slip clearly said she gets one. When I asked where her shake was and the NA who "should have" been feeding her just shrugged her shoulders. I went to the kitchen and GOT her shake. Then when I asked for straws you would have thought I was asking for part of her paycheck. But Mom ate good for me. Then I showed that same NA that Mom's feet were purple, who again looked stupid. I said that Mom would have to be put to bed as Soon after supper as possible. I was told that they would put no one to bed until the dinning room was cleared. So I took Mom to the nurse and showed her Mom's feet. I asked that Mom be the first one put into bed. Then I took her to her room and propped up her feet and massaged her feet until they were a healthier color. Soon after the same aid who said Mom would have to wait came in and said the nurse told her Mom needed to be put in bed. I said OK and smiled.


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Mom goes to the Dr. Tomorrow

And she is having an ultrasound of her neck. Let's pray that they find out what is causing her neck to hurt so much. She ate all her supper and lunch today. Yay!! She still refuses to wear her teeth. She used to not want anyone to see her without them. But this seems to be a good choice. She eats so much better since they have been pureeing her food.


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Mom went to church today

They said she really enjoyed it. She won't open her eyes for me but she will answer my questions.


-Other then keeping her eyes shut she looks like she is feeling OK today.
Linda Shumaker uses BlogPress from my iPhone

Not much change

Went to see Mom this afternoon. She was asleep. She woke up enough to smile at me. I rearranged her room so I could sit and hold her hand. Tried to ask the nurse how her (Mom's) day had gone. She was busy. I was there about an hour but did not talk to the nurse. I'm tired of fighting for my idea of how things should be.


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I Finally Got the Book I Have Been Waiting For

It's a book on Anticipatory Grief -- A really uplifting subject. LOL But I felt I needed a little help. There are no support groups here. My husband does NOT understand what I feel sometimes and I will NOT talk to the staff in my office. Why-- because they cannot or will not approach this on my level which is a daughter who loves her mother very much and as a woman of very strong Christian faith. So I sent for this book. In the first few pages I found two poems that really speak how I feel:

In the darkest place inside,
Something shuddered and took life.
Nothing quite so grand as
a cataclysmic roar
or a howl of anguish
or even a whimper of fear.
Just a h-m-m-m, almost electronic, louder at night.

I will myself to ignore it,
I drown it out with music,
I distract myself, try to relax,
focus on autumn's beauty.
It bides its time.
It whispers of sinister mystery,
unnamed danger,
Finally, in anger and desperation
I demand -- Make yourself known!

You are losing, your are losing her.

From "Singing Mother Home" by Donna S. Davenport



Wanting still to fix things, to make guarantees,
Or at least do these hard months for her,
I hear reality's thunder crash over my wishes.

The current is too strong,
I cannot save her,
There are rapids up ahead ---
whirlpools and undercurrents --
That will surely take her from me.

I hate it, I hate it.
I cry in the car, I kick a trashcan against the wall.
No surprise -- my tears change nothing.
This process does not like me.
It clearly does not listen.

And so, a comprimise of sorts,
A promise:
I will stay with you,
You will not be alone.
Tell me what you need and I will help.
And when you cannot tell me anymore,
When words no longer come,
When you cannot call across the chasm,
I will still be here.

From"Singing Mother Home" by Donna S. Davenport

Some Improvement Today

Believe it or not she is acting and looking a 100% better today. She is still complaining of her neck hurting. But she ate almost all her supper. She won't let us put her teeth in so the NH staff is pureeing her food.

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